I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
