So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
