it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
