you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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