I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
