My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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