You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
