have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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