the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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