My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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