i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
