after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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