when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think a kid would responsible me up
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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