That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
