so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
