who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
