Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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