: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think my vagina is haunted
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
