You really coming over, don't trick.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
