dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
