she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
