My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
