If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
