well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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