this boner is exhausting
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
