Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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