Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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