i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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