All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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