i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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