he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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