I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
