my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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