Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
