When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
