I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
