The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
