So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
