i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
