end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
