I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize