so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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