Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm

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(614): View more from Ohio

Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.

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(518): View more from New York

He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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(914): View more from New York

this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.

(845): View more from New York

you are a goddess

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(785): View more from Kansas

I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.

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