plz talk dirty to me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
