It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
