I think I am morally bankrupt
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
