Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
