i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
