Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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