We're facebook friends in real life
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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