I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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