I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
