I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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