i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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