so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
