Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
