i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
