Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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