She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
