Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
