I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Drunk is not a location!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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